< Back to List

Nicholas Costopoulos

Nicholas Costopoulos, Caregiver: Sunlit Portrait

Hear from the Artist

Transcript

Hello everyone, my name is Nicholas Costopoulos. My background is of a second generation American of Greek decent, born the Boston area where I have continued to reside ever since. I had a sheltered childhood, since I was raised to believe that I should only trust my family and the people in our church, anyone else was not to be taken into confidence. I became a very introverted and quiet boy and didn’t really approach anyone to socialize, being gay only magnified that shyness and isolation. Later I would realize, like many LGBTQ people do, that a few close friends would become my chosen family. I am one of the lucky ones to have acceptance from my family and support from my chosen family. I enjoyed all forms of art and enjoyed nature. I would be content to be outside exploring, drawing, painting, building models, anything that would bring out my creativity. My dad gave me an old camera and a roll of black and white film one day and showed me how to load.

That was it. I could hide behind the camera and collect images of everything I saw or experienced. Primarily a landscape photographer, I broke out of my comfort zone with portraiture and now narrative and documentary. The camera became my creative tool, but also my excuse to talk to people and break my shyness, I’m still very much an introvert, but now I work with people to tell their stories though the images I make.

My book of photographs, Caregiver, and its ongoing parent project, Coming Home Again and Again was to be an unexacting photographic documentary chronicling my mother’s dementia diagnosis, but became much more.

During its evolution, the project dissociated into volumes, reshaping into a personal examination of self-identity. The first volume Caregiver is a meditation upon the changes and effects my mother’s illness has produced in our relationship and to the home we’ve created over the past fifty years.

During my observations and caregiving in the past five years, I have explored religion through her eyes which has lead me to question my long held spiritual beliefs. My further observations led me to ponder my beliefs on the aging process and dementia. A process that intertwines nostalgia, love, emotional connections, life and death, and, most importantly, strong family bonds that I have been so lucky to possess. It opened the door to cycles and patterns I saw in myself and my immediate family.

I reexamined the objects of my childhood home, items I took for granted, and saw them in a different light. Objects of personal identity, trophies to the self for overcoming struggle and obstacles or items created from the rawest of materials transformed into beautiful and useful handcrafts. In tearing down bathrooms, kitchens, and bedrooms to build a safe environment for my mother, I began to see the beauty in the old weathered and cracked finishes and dated items that may not be of use now, but they still have a history, a meaning and a purpose to our family.